MEET JESSICA
Say hello to bydominicjames biggest supporter. She’s a new mother to her beautiful son Jackson however she’s been a mother figure to myself since we’ve met. Even though ironically we’re the same age. Say hello to Jessica Marrero. Not only a new mom but also a newlywed. Congratulations on all the new joys going on in your life. Thank you again for taking the time out from being with your new born to share you story with us today! I feel as if so many people in my life are in this new chapter so by you sharing your story hopefully there’s something our readers can take away from this conversation. Let’s get started!
After all the help you’ve had from family and friends or books you’ve read, is there something you feel nobody told you after giving birth?
I am so grateful for all the help Hector and I had. I feel like we knew what to expect because we have had friends who had babies and we were there helping them. But at times we definitely felt like we had no idea what we were doing. Every baby is different so it was definitely challenging at times trying to figure out what to do especially when Jackson was sick or we were learning about his stomach issues and how to navigate with that.
Do you feel you were prepared mentally and physically for the changes pregnancy does the to the body?
I feel like I was super prepared for what to expect postpartum physically and mentally but then when my “plans” didn’t happen the way I thought I was taken back. My labor was very rough and a lot of unexpected things happened which cause my recovery to be a lot harder. Mentally my head was all over the place and I was very emotional. I struggled with my body for weeks (still am) and that i felt like it wasn’t mine. I am so self conscious with how i look currently and I miss being pregnant so much. Another thing I’ve been mentally struggling with is the mom guilt. I feel like everything is my fault. In the beginning Jackson peed on me, and himself while i changed his diaper. He got so upset that it was on him and i cried for HOURS because i felt like i was failing. Don’t ask why because i don’t know it’s just something we laugh about now.
I know the saying is fake it till you make it, but do you ever struggle with feeling like a “bad” mom. If so how do you get past those feelings?
I feel like a bad mom often. Everyone says I’m doing great and stuff but mentally that’s a struggle daily because i don’t think i do enough. Before bed i always reflect on the day and i constantly criticize myself for not playing enough,or for letting him watch tv for a few minutes because i need to pee or need to eat something, for the laundry piling up, or not having everything cleaned. I’m trying hard to remind myself that this is all new and we are doing well and that i am a good mom. Jackson is so loved and gets more kisses and hugs from me than i could ever count. We play all day, read books, sing and dance, cuddle ect but it’s never enough in my mind.
Can you share any tricks and tips you’ve learned in these short couples months of being a new mom?
If you’re a boy mom always keep the privates covered and pointed down or pee will be everywhere. White noise machines will be your best friend. Belly massages will become a part of your daily routine if your baby has belly issues and they will help tremendously. Use the gas drops! Even if you do something that isn’t a typical thing but your baby likes it, just do it and fuck what anyone else says. You know your baby best and people will always have something to say.
Let’s talk wedding …
What would you say to a newly engaged couple when planning their dream day?
Make the day about you. Everyone will have an opinion and try to tell you what you should do but the day is about you and your partner. The day goes by so fast so try and take it all in. Take a few minutes alone with your partner after your ceremony before the party starts. Things will go wrong and your plans will not all work and that’s okay! At the end of the day the little things are irrelevant.
Is there anything about your wedding you wish you didn’t spend so much on or care about when looking back?
Ummmm looking back i don’t think I’d change much. I had the best day i could have dreamed of. Maybe i wouldn’t have splurged on some extras from my vendors especially since i never received some of the extras the day of.
